Chaos in the halls of Hogwarts
by candygirl401
Summary: It's funny how a little parchment can cause so much trouble.
1. Chapter 1

Chaos in the halls of Hogwarts.

Ch1

**Ok this is an idea I got from reading **EwanLuvr4Ever **story 100 things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts. She gave me permission to use the list in a story so this is it. Please read 100 things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts before reading this.**

Harry was walking through the halls of Hogwarts thinking about the upcoming war with Voldermort and his Death Eaters. To say that he was scared at the thought would be an understatement. The troubled teenager had just come back from a particularly grueling detention with Hogwarts most hated professor. Harry wasn't sure what he had done to break the rules this time all he did was suggest a brand of shampoo to Professor Snape. What happened to free speech and all that bullshit? Harry was grumbling to himself about what a bastard the potions master was when something caught his eye. He saw from the corner of his eye a small bit of parchment sticking out of the wall. Harry looked around to make sure that the corridor was in fact empty before making his way over to the wall and pulling the parchment free. He gasped in amusement as he read the title.

_100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts_

Harry looked down at the parchment he couldn't see a name or any other futures suggesting ownership. He smiled and read the first thing on the list.

_Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms_

Harry snorted in amusement as he recalled the Irish boy in his year. Harry vaguely remembered the cereal commercial with the leprechaun and the kids chasing him trying to get his lucky charms which were cereal and marshmallow. Harry almost cracked up as a visual image of Seamus in a leprechaun suit came to mind with the rest of the school chasing him trying to get a bowl of cereal. Harry laughed at the image and read the next rule on the list.

_I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office._

Harry flat out laughed at the image of Ron Hermione and him hooking arms and skipping down the hall singing we're to see the wizard. Ron would be the cowardly lion and Hermione would definitely be Dorothy Harry himself would be the scarecrow. Yeah he could definitely do with some brains.

Noticing how late it was Harry slipped the list into his robes to show Hermione and Ron when he got to the common room. He would have to hurry if he didn't want to get another detention for being out after hours. It only took him five minutes to reach the Fat Lady because he was in such a hurry to show his two best friends the treasure he had come upon.

"Ron where is Hermione?" Harry asked as soon as the clamored through the portrait hole.

"She's at the library, Harry are you alright? Did Professor Snape do something to you?" Ron asked looking at Harry whose robes were disheveled and his hair even messier than normal.

"I'm fine Ron; I just had to clean all of the cauldrons in the class. No I'm excited because I found this on my way back to the common room. Look at it." Harry said thrusting the parchment into the red head's hands.

"Harry what is this? 100 Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts. Don't tell me you swiped the list from Flinch's door." Ron said with a bemused expression forming across his features.

"No of course not Ron. Read the list its funny whoever wrote this had a great sense of humor. And was obviously muggle born." Harry said frowning as he realized Ron may not get the list because he didn't know anything about muggles.

"Harry what is this going on about why would Seamus be after lucky charms and is there a song called were of f the see the wizard? I've never heard o f it who sings it?" Ron asked confused by the list more than amused.

"Lucky charms are a muggle cereal and it is a television commercial where this leprechaun in a green suit is trying to escape some kids who are chasing him around trying to steal his lucky charms which are cereal and marshmallows. And the wizard song is from a muggle movie called the wizard of Oz" Harry said feeling annoyed that Ron couldn't understand the list.

"Harry what do you have there?" Dean Thomas, another one of Harry's classmates, asked looking over Ron's shoulder to read the parchment. "100 Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts. What is this? Seamus Finnegan is after my lucky charms." Dean read the first line of the list and started cracking up as he imagined his best friend in the green suit. "Harry where in the world did you find this? It's bloody hilarious." Dean said scanning the parchment for a name.

"I found it on my way back from detention with Snape it was sticking out of a crack in the wall." Harry said pleased that someone else saw the brilliance of the list. He proceeded to discuss and joke about the list with Dean while Ron went and played a game of wizard's chest with Ginny. Harry looked up as the portrait opened to see his other best friend who was muggle born. "Hermioine come look at what I found stuck in the wall on my way back from detention with Snape" Harry said dragging the protesting Gryffindor towards where Dean stood holding the list.

"Professor Snape Harry. What is it you want to show me?" Hermione said curious to what her friend was so excited about.

"Look at this Hermione" Harry said thrusting_ the parchment into the girl's hands with a smile._

"Harry what is this? 100 things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts. Wow this is really funny. Though I do suppose bringing an eight ball to divination would be just as accurate if not more so then that old bat Dumbledore has teaching." Hermione said with a giggle as she read the list. "I think Seamus would make quite a good leprechaun.

Harry laughed remembering Divination was the one subject Hermione was bad at and refused to acknowledge it as a real subject saying a two year old could look in a crystal ball and predict someone's death.

"Harry look at number four. Wow this is hilarious" Hermione said gesturing to the parchment while she doubled over in laughter. Harry smiled at the witch and looked down at the parchment and gasped when he saw the fourth number on the list.

_I will not diagnose Voldermort with cancer because of his unnaturally bald state_

Harry burst out laughing at the thought of Voldermort having cancer. He could see it too. The old Man looked like he could use a good dose of chemotherapy. Harry I'm going to bed but I want a copy of this." Hermione said whipping out her wand and magically making a copy of the parchment.

"I want a copy too." Dean said smiling he had plans for this list. The only way to find out the writer would be to make mass copies of it and post it periodically throughout the castle.

**Thank you some much for reading my story. I owe the list itself to **EwanLuvr4Ever. **Please review and if you want to read the whole list then I once again suggest reading 100 Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts. If you want me to Update then I suggest you click the little button at the bottom that says review. Thank you everyone.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chaos in the halls of Hogwarts

Ch 2

**Sorry I haven't updated in forever. I have been dealing with college stuff. I hope everyone had a spectacular Christmas. Please have a look at my newest one shot story with Charlie Weasley and tell me what you think. Now don't forget to read 100 things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts before reading this. Thank you very much and please enjoy.**

"Miss Granger will you please tell me what is the correct ingredient for the Drought of living death?" Professor Snape asked in a fierce voice he had been frustrated by the lack of control students seemed to possess today. Some stupid Gryffindors had been actually laughing in his presence.

"Newts liver Sir" Hermione replied with a smirk. She was thinking of number 30 in the list.

_30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas._

Hermione fought back a giggle as she looked at her greasy haired professor. He really did need to wash his hair. Though she supposed his hair was greasy from all the potion fumes that always surrounded him. Though it would be funny to gage his reaction if he were to be sent a bottle of shampoo for Christmas. Though he might not even know what shampoo is let alone soap. Ahh the foreign world of hygiene is something the potion's master surely does not know of. Hermione had to turn her chuckle in to a cough as the professor walked by. Then number 39 popped into her head as the professor took a sip of the drink that was on his desk and she had to bite her lip to keep from bursting out laughing.

_39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro._

That certainly sounded like something the Weasley twins would do. Though she secretly wondered what skele-grow would do if the person didn't have any injuries or bones that needed to mend. Well maybe the professor should take a leaf out of Professor Moody's book because ever since the list had suddenly become a wide spread document passed around the school with the exception of the slytherines. Hermione expected quite a few people to try some of the things on the list. Though she doubted anyone would actually try to put skele-grow in Professor Snape's drink, the whole school seemed to be afraid of him. Well besides whoever wrote the list.

The sound of the bell made Hermione jump she had been lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed the time. Well they had transfiguration next. Hermione smirked as she heard someone mutter "Now time to go spend some time with Minnie"

_18) I will not pick up where the Marauders left off and begin to call McGonagall "Minnie"_

Hermione knew from the stories Sirius and Lupin told them that the Marauder's used to call Professor McGonagall "Minnie" because her name was Minerva. Hermione laughed as she pictured her very uptight thin lipped professor blushing as four boys referred to her as "Minnie." Though Hermione knew it was very disrespectful she couldn't keep from laughing. The idea of Professor McGonagall blushing at anything was extremely bemusing.

"If Minnie gives us too much homework maybe we should tell her that Dumbledore thought she looked smashing today" Dean whispered to the bushy haired Gryffindor beside him. Hermione snorted in laughter as number 49 came to mind.

_49.) I will not ask McGonagall if she has a thing for Dumbledore, as strongly as I believe she does._

Hermione could just see Professor McGonagall's face when she heard about the rumor that was floating around about her illustrious affair with the headmaster. It was quite a bit of gossip apparently they spend summer and Christmas Holliday's in the Headmaster's suit blowing their way through Dumbledore's sweets and well no body really wants to think about what Minnie's been blowing as the rumor goes. Hermione suddenly felt sick at the thought of Professor McGonagall and the Headmaster going at it in his office. It was quite unsettling and disturbing.

"Dean I would really like to keep my lunch thank you very much. You might get off to the picture of Minnie and Dumbledore together but I certainly don't." Hermione said with a disgusted look.

"Your right Hermione that is one of the most revolting images I have ever come up with." Dean said looking sick himself now. Hermione snickered as she walked into Transfiguration and saw a slightly angry McGonagall and a few smirking students. People were snickering and coughing "Dumbledore" all throughout the class period. It was no wonder that Minnie gave them so much homework.

"Next we get to be taught by Yoda." Harry said smirking as Hermione disguised her cackle as cough. "Accio, the incantation it is" Harry said doing a very poor imitation of the green Jedi.

_5) I will not ask Professor Flitwick if his first name is Yoda_

_I thought about how it would b e funny if someone decided to charm Professor Flitwick green. Now that would be a Weasley prank. Hermione began to think about how much she was thinking about the infamous Weasley twins and how much she actually missed their pranks and sense of humor. She laughed as she thought about the list and the mention two certain red head troublemakers._

_43.) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "The Marauders" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts._

_44.) Putting down "Fred and George Weasley" probably isn't the best idea either..._

Hermione laughed at the look she would get if she told people that the Weasley twins were her greatest influence at Hogwarts. She would probably get sent to the infirmary saying that she is seriously delusional. Hermione was still thinking about the twins and about sending them a copy of the list when she walked in the charm's classroom and had to immediately walk out again as she busted out laughing. Someone had levitated Professor Flitwick's wand a few feet over his head and he was not jumping up and down trying to reach it. Hermione was reminded of the list once again.

37_.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwick's wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it._

The image of Flitwick jumping up and down like a small child playing monkey in the middle was measly amusing and soon the entire Gryffindor and Hufflepuff house were cracking up. Finally after the professor managed to summon his wand to him. The class began to settle down. But occasional snickers and chuckles could be heard throughout the room all class period. The school has gone mad and Hogwarts is in utter chaos. All because of a list that Harry had found. Hermione couldn't wait until the day was done. Though the pranks were funny she was getting tired of all the craziness that was getting in the way of her studying and learning.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter I had fun writing it. All the numbers and the list go to ****EwanLuvr4Ever. Please review**


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